Extreme Makeover – Spiritual DNA Edition (Faulty DNA: Sticks and Stones Do More Harm than Words)

I read in the article Gender Jabber: Do Women Talk More than Men?  that researches used a device called an EAR (for electronically activated recorder) to digitally collect data on the chatter patterns of 396 university students.  The daily average for all 396 was 15,942 words spoken.  (http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/women-talk-more-than-men/)  

If the average person lives to be 70 the total average words spoken over a life time is somewhere around 407 million.  That is staggering. If we speak that many words in our lifetime (I know some are less talkative), how important is it that our words be tempered by the Spirit? 

Aesop illustrated it well in this fable: Once upon a time, a donkey found a lion's skin. He tried it on, strutted around, and frightened many animals. Soon a fox came along, and the donkey tried to scare him, too. But the fox, hearing the donkey's voice, said, "If you want to terrify me, you'll have to disguise your bray." Aesop's moral: Clothes may disguise a fool, but his words will give him away.

I. Our Words Matter

The old saying, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is not true at all.  In fact, Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”  Our words can potentially bring life or death to the hearer.  This is a powerful thought.  With our words we can build others up, or tear them down. 

Matthew 12:36 “And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.” Jesus makes it clear here that we are going to be held accountable for ALL the words we speak. It is generally understood in church circles that we will be accountable for profane or perverse language, however, here Jesus tells us that we are accountable for every idle word. Webster defines idle as: lacking worth or basis.  How often do we talk just to talk?   

Greek Philosopher asked his servant to provide the best dish possible. The servant prepared a dish of tongue, saying, "It is the best of all dishes, because with it we may bless and communicate happiness, dispel sorrow, remove despair, cheer the faint hearted, inspire the discouraged, and say a hundred other things to uplift mankind." Later the philosopher asked his servant to provide the worst dish of which he could think. A dish of tongue appeared on the table. The servant said, "It is the worst, because with it we may curse and break human hearts; destroy reputations; promote discord and strife; set families, communities, and nations at war with each other." He was a wise servant. (Taken from http://www.sermoncentral.com/sermons/life-and-death-are-in-the-power-of-the-tongue-neal-gracey-sermon-on-wisdom-57113.asp)

II. How can we use our Words best?

A.      Do not use words as weapons. Often we use our words to hurt others who have wronged us. Matthew 5:44 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”  Here we read Jesus (who if anyone had a “right” to use his words in retaliation he did) teach that we are to bless those who hurt us. 

B.      Do not participate in gossip. Proverbs 20:19 (NIV) “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.” Proverbs 16:28 (NIV) “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.”  Gossip is deadly but subtle.  A conversation can turn to a gossip session without much trouble.  We must be careful what stories and news we share with others. 

C.      Do not use unclean language. Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

D.      Do not lie.  Use only truthful words.  Matthew 5:37 (NLT) “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.”

In the early 1900s George Riddell acquired the sensational London newspaper The News of the World. Meeting British journalist Frederick Greenwood one day, Riddell mentioned that he owned a newspaper, told Greenwood its name, and offered to send him a copy. The next time they met, Riddell asked Greenwood what he thought of The News.   "I looked at it and then I put it in the wastepaper basket," said Greenwood, "and then I thought, 'If I leave it there the cook may read it,' so I burned it."   (Today in the Word, November 3, 1993.)

Coming from a big city, my friend David wasn't prepared for the approach rural Maine businessmen take toward their customers. Shortly after David moved there, he rented a rototiller. The store owner showed him how it worked and explained that the charge was not based on how many hours he had it out, but rather how long it was actually used. Looking over the tiller for some king of meter, David asked, "How will you know how long I've used it?" With a puzzled look, the owner simply said, "You tell me." (Loren Morse, Reader's Digest, March 1991.)

E.      Use words that build others up. Ephesians 4:29b (NIV) “…but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  One popular Zig Ziglar saying is, "He climbs highest who helps another up."

III. We need to transform our tongue.

A.      We must be slow to speak. James 1:19-20 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

B.     We must think before we speak.  We must guard against speaking without thinking first. Pastor Rick Smith gives us the T.H.I.N.K. test for our words. If what we are going to say does not pass the test we don’t say it!

T - is it true?

H - is it helpful?

I - is it inspiring?

N - is it necessary?

K - is it kind?

We need to seek God’s assistance in controlling our tongue and transforming our speech.   

2 Corinthians 5:17 “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”  Philippians 4:13 “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

The Remodel: God holds me accountable for my words.  I must control my tongue with the Lord’s help!